My Journey

Many, many have asked what has been going on and how did everything come about.  So, here it is. .  a little bit about my journey.

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away.  Well, at least this apple has been our cute door decor this month.

So, from the beginning.  I went to the doctor on August  21st with concerns about having such a hard time getting off the baby weight despite concerted efforts.  During that appointment, the nurse practitioner felt a little spot on my thyroid gland.  She had concerns that it was bigger than what she was feeling, so she scheduled me for an thyroid ultrasound.  She assured me that 98% of thyroid nodules were benign and not to worry.  So, I didn't.  

The next Monday, August 25th, I ran up to the Imaging Center and had it ultrasounded on my lunch break.  As I was in my scrubs, I thought the tech might tell me if she saw anything.  Her words were "I couldn't tell you even if it was normal."  WHAT??!!!  Hmmm.  So I went back to work and checked my medical record that afternoon.  Right as I was reading the ultrasound findings, the nurse was calling me to say I had multiple nodules in my thyroid that were concerning.  I read the report.  I had two.  But. . . one of them was rather large and vascular which meant I was going to have to have a biopsy.  Ugh.  I HATE needles, and the thought of a needle in my neck while I was awake made me want to hurl!!  No way!!  I was more concerned about that stupid needle in my neck than what it is they may find.  No joke.  I'm a baby, I know.  

Anyway, I talked to the Interventional Radiologist who I work with and asked him what it would entail and if he would mind doing it.  So Thursday, August 28th, I had a fine needle aspiration done of the nodule on the left side of my thyroid.  It really wasn't too bad.  I didn't feel a thing.  Yep, I had acted like a baby over something that was nothing.  Oh well.  It was done, and I would hear something in a week or so.

(After the biopsy.  It was nothing. I'm a baby.)

Labor Day weekend was great.  I had a long weekend off work.  FABULOUS.  We played, started projects, made memories.  Tuesday, Sept 2nd, back to work.  I went about my day seeing patients that morning and headed to lunch.  On my way back to my office to get lunch my phone rang.  I missed the call.  I listened to the voicemail.  It was the NP.  Please call me ASAP.  What?!! Dang!  I hadn't expected to hear from her til near the end of the week.  I immediately went to the computer and looked up my medical record.  There it was in black and white.  Papillary thyroid carcinoma.

Tears.  Tears.  Sweet coworkers comforting me.  More tears.  More tears.
I composed myself to call the NP.  She had gone to lunch.  Really?!!  She called me back and began to discuss what this meant.  It is still a bit of a blur.  I heard her words.  I wrote them down.  I felt numb.  My world had been ripped wide open.  She even said of the cancers to get I had gotten the good one.  Yep.  That one rang in my ears.  I didn't know I had to get cancer, and quite frankly, there is nothing good about any kind of cancer.  I was still numb.  This couldn't be happening.  98% of these nodules are benign.  So I'm that 2%.  I called Matt.  I told my manager and I left work early.  When I got to the car I called my mom.  I hadn't even told her about the nodule or even the biopsy.  I was a bit emotional to say the least.  

Thank goodness for the connections Mom and I have in the healthcare world here.  My NP had me scheduled with a surgical oncologist for Sept 11th.  Well, I called mom crying AGAIN, and she sent an email.  I was scheduled the next day, Sept 3rd with Dr. Solorzano, the surgical oncologist.

I saw the her the next day.  It was still very overwhelming talking about cancer, surgery, lifetime medication, endocrine oncologist, risks, benefits, treatment.  I did feel a sense that everything was being guided for me in the way it should be.  Dr. Solorzano did not overwhelm me with information, but gave me the info I needed.  Her resident, Jamie, was someone Mom also knew and I felt confident with her too.  

When we left I had my surgery scheduled for Sept 16th.  Okay, now what to do.  I spent the time up until my surgery getting things ready to minimize the impact this would have on our sweet three and Matt.  I cooked.  I cleaned.  I took care of getting Lillian's surgery done before mine.  I prayed.  Oh, and sometimes I cried when no one was around. What else could I do.  Health is something we all take for granted.  I mean really, I had gone to the doctor because I was healthy but needed help getting off baby weight.  I was not sick.  I was not symptomatic.  In fact, my thyroid labs were normal.  I have a great support system.  Matt has been SO strong which I needed.  My family has been great.  Only a few of my close friends knew, and they have been great.  Prayers for peace, strength, and comfort were answered in so many unexpected ways, and I could not be more grateful.  So September 16th, I slipped out to go the hospital, and Matt worked to keep the kids on their normal schedule.  They knew Mommy was going to have surgery to take out a bad spot in my neck.  They knew the spot was in my thyroid, and that the thyroid is often called the butterfly gland.  So they said Mommy was going to get her butterfly taken out and released.  Yep.  That sums it up well.

The surgery went great.  It was two hours.  Dr. Solorzano removed my entire thyroid and 9 lymph nodes.  My incision was glued together with Dermabond.  Postop recovery was a bit rough.  I woke from anesthesia in a lot of pain, a lot of pressure on my throat, and unfortunately, postop vomiting set in too.  Ugh.  I stink as a patient.  I stayed overnight and got to go home the next day.  

(Postop day 1.  What a bruise!!)

My coworkers brightened my day with these beauties.

(Postop day 5. Not bad)

That weekend, the boys all went out of town on a previously scheduled Cub Scout campout.  My mom came and stayed the weekend with me to help care for Lillian.  They had fun playing and playing and playing while I just took it easy.

(Miss Priss with her purse and mommy's shoes)

Thankfully, I was still able to cuddle my sweet girl without hurting too terribly.

This is one week postop.  This sums up my feelings well.  The dermabond came off.  The scar looks pretty good.  I'm tired.  I'm over being sore and over taking tons of meds.  On the other hand, I'm grateful and trying to embrace this journey.

This is two weeks postop.  The scar is in a natural neck crease and is healing well.

Although I have had hard days and melted down, I really have not been to down.  I have a precious family to keep me going.  I am lucky.  From finding the nodule to surgery was a little less than a month.  I am grateful. I am on a journey.  This journey is helping me refocus, let go of what I can't control even more, and focus on what I can.  

Today I went to my post op follow up appointment to get the pathology results and discuss what is next.  It has really set in that this is going to be an ongoing, lifetime journey.   The great news is that all nine of the lymph nodes in my neck were clear of any cancer!!  Yay!  No more surgery.  All of my labs looked good too which means I can start weaning some of the calcium I am taking down to just want is recommended for women to help prevent osteoporosis.  Yahoo!  I feel like an old person with a mess of pills I keep having to pop.  To get those whittled down will be great!  My scar is healing beautifully!  I couldn't ask for better.

As for the next step, I will be meeting with the endocrine oncologist the first week of November to discuss further whether or not I will need radioactive iodine.  I have the follicular variant of papillary thyroid carcinoma meaning I have a differentiated type.  I'm praying for guidance on what the best course of action will be both for short term and for my lifetime.  The downside is because I have now had cancer, I will always have worry and fear everytime I go the doctor of recurrence even though it has been removed and the lymph nodes were clear.  There is not a 100% guarantee that recurrence won't happen although I have a very good prognosis that it will not recur.  Yep, it's a journey.  For now, I'm ready to really get back into my routine of family, work, and fun.  Easing into it is challenging because I like to always have stuff going on but don't quite have my energy back to keep up with a crazy schedule.  I have many lessons I have learned and continue to learn through this journey.  Most days are great.  Some are hard.  Matt and the kids have done great handling everything and really my surgery and recovery has not impacted them negatively at all which is great.   It's a journey, and I truly feel blessed to have the outcome I am having so far.